by Christina Renee | Thoughts
Living life with no regrets isn’t easy. I struggles with other’s expectations what I should do. A few years ago I had sepsis. It was a very close call and I was sick for a long time after that. When you’re to sick to do much you have a lot of time to think. I decided to start living life with no regrets. At least as much as possible. To say yes instead of no. Stop worrying. Live life in the moment.
Say Yes Whenever Possible
I look for ways to say yes whenever I can. As I get older it’s not usually the things I’ve done that I’ve regretted. It’s the things I didn’t do. The time I spent doing what I thought I should do instead of what I wanted. Now, I try to say yes as much as possible. With my children, if it’s possible, I say yes. If we can afford to do it, with money, time and energy, I say yes. With health difficulties, I have to count the cost of what I can do. I used to stay home much more but I was depressed and unhappy not being involved with my family. Now I look at the activities and decide if it’s something I want to do. If so, I know I’ll probably be down a day or two later and go ahead and do it.
Don’t Worry About Other People’s Opinions
I used to think since we had such a large family people were always looking to see what we did wrong. (And a few did.) I was worried about others opinions since the reason was always ” too many children.” It felt like I had to have it more together . I fussed at my children to keep things neat and I had unrealistic expectations both for myself and my family. Plus, I worried to much about what others thought and less about what I wanted. I needed to change. Worrying about other peoples expectations instead of just doing what I wanted and needed to do was causing stress and anxiety. I needed to life my life as I wanted.
Live in the Moment
I am a planner by nature. I love do to list. Love checking off the little boxes. Making lists and agendas for vacations, spring break, holidays and whatever else comes along. Not that there’s anything wrong with being organized but I tend to always be looking ahead instead of enjoying the now. So now I am enjoying whatever I am doing. I enjoy playing games with the kids instead of thinking of undone tasks. I cuddle with grand babies instead of thinking what I could be doing. Investing in people and now not thinking about what’s coming up next. Living life in the moment.
Choose the Eternal
When choosing what activities to put your time, focus and energy into. Always choose the eternal. Choose people over things. Moments and memories will last forever. We’ve had 2 house fires and I know things are burned and destroyed. Things don’t mean as much to me anymore. My family think I am very unsentimental. But to me the time we make with will people can never be replaced, things can. My favorite activities are spending time with family, making memories, sharing joy.
Living Life with No Regrets
Doing this is much harder than following checklists. It’s harder to evaluate activities to decide if they have eternal value than just go through the motions. Hard to ignore what you think about other people think. Learning to say yes instead of no. I hope it doesn’t take something major in your life to reevaluate it. Do you your life without regrets? What choices have you made in your life?
by Christina Renee | Health, Organization
Here is the cabinet I use for essential oil storage. I was able to find it at a garage sale for $10! I used to use it in my old kitchen for tea storage but now it’s for oil storage. Essential oils should be stored out of direct light and this is tinted so it keeps the bright light out. I use these all the time.
Some Essential Oil Uses
My favorite oils are from DoTerra and Young Living. They make great therapeutic grade oils and I even use some for cooking.
We use Thieves oil when anyone is sick, rub on the bottoms on their feet and in the diffuser. Ot if you have been exposed to someone else sick. It doesn’t always work but it definitely helps.
I use lemon for cleaning the air. Run it in the diffuser or of ou don’t have one put water in a spray bottle and a few drops of lemon oil and spray the air. I’ve also used it when I’ve made my own cleaning supplies for that fresh lemon scent.
Lavender is great for helping you sleep and wonderful for burns. I had a friend who when canning had a jar explode when she opened up her pressure canner. Using lavender oil not only kept her from blistered but healed her in just a few days. I keep a bottel in the kitchen just for that purpose.
Eucalyptus helps breathing difficulty’s and colds. I use it for bronchitis too.. It gets rubbed on chests, back and feet. It also gets ran in the diffuser.
Peppermint is a great pick me up. It can also help when you are hungry, just take a whiff and it helps suppress your appetite. My children use it when studying for tests too to help stay alert and focus.
Orange, I love orange! Mostly to cook with. A few drops in my chocolate muffins are amazing! Enhances recipes with orange juice and love chocolate protein shakes with a hint of orange. You can also use it with cleaning supply recipes.
Essential Oil Storage
Since these oils can be costly it is important to store them correctly. Keep them out of direct sun. Rotate new stock and old. Make sure they are for therapeutic use if you use them on your skin or take them internally. I have bought some less expensive oils when I have run out or to use whren making cleaning supplies. How do you use your essential oils and how do you store them?
by Christina Renee | Thoughts
First Thought or Last
As Christians, we talk about depending on God for everything. But do we really, is it our first thought or our last? Do we wait until we are desperate, pleading and can’t think of anything we can do ourselves?
When I think of my life, I know that sometimes I used God as a last resort. I thought I could handle it, if only I organize better, planned more,did more. When I only had three children I felt capable. I could check off the little boxes, continue my routines, and get it all done.
Crisis Mode
When a crisis came up I prayed and prayed that God would take care of it. As we added more children I obviously organized more but I also depended on God more. I couldn’t do it all myself. Little prayers throughout the day, help me God with this, show me how to do that. God I needed Him more.
Sometimes I think that’s why God gives us extra things. He throws us in the deep end of the pool, so to speak. Hoping that we we will turn to Him. But we need to be looking to Him first, last, and always.
As we’ve had crises I’ve turned to Him more and more. I need Him more and more. I’ve learned that I cannot depend upon myself and I can only depend upon him.
When we had our first house fire we had to depend on Him daily for a place to live, to help with insurance, even for clothes on our back . We had to depend on Him hourly just to get through the day. In no time, instead of making me weak, I had God’s strength. Scripture says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And He did. When I am weak He is strong and I can depend on His strength.
Strength and Prayers
Christ is the one who strengthens me throughout my day. He strengthens me as I raise my children and gives me wisdom while doing so. He is the one who gets me through my day.
As mothers, we don’t always have a large chunk of time to spend in prayer. I know I do now, but when I had many little ones, God listened to little prayers. Small ones through the day over and over again, asking for strength, help, and refuge. I kept scripture and hymns pasted inside my kitchen cupboards to remind me. I read a book where they describe the little prayers as p-mails, instead of emails. Short little prayers sent directly to God that He hears us and cares and about each little thing.
After our second fire and my health declined, I had to depend even more on God. I didn’t have the physical strength I had before. Begging to God, “Why did you give me 10 children and you didn’t give me the ability to care for them.?” The only thing I know is so I could depend more and more on Him. I became utterly dependent on the only One who could truly help me in need.
Depending on God
So when you pray to God, is it your first thought or last resort? Are you depending on God for every aspect of your life or just the crises? Please let me know how depending on God has changed your life..
by Christina Renee | Children, Parenting, Thoughts
Creating memories with your children is one of the best ways to tie heart strings. This works not only with parents and children but also children with each other. I’ve told my children that their brothers and sisters will be their best friends. They are the ones who will know them through out their whole lives. They can depend on each other and share their history together.
I love hearing my children reminisce about things they’ve done together, adventures they’ve had, games they played and vacations memories. Creating memories with your children is both spontaneous and planned. You have to look for both.
Plan
Make a plan for family times. We have family dinners with conversation starters each night. We’ve had family vacations. Theme dinners. large family dinners and birthday parties. Game nights and pizza and movie nights. We celebrate accomplishments and share each others burdens. We have a hat party coming up/ I found a package of hats last time I shopped at T J Max. It has 6 different hats in it so we’ll have a fun party night coming up. Not sure when yet but a night when we need to celebrate or cheer someone up, I’ll bring out the hats. I also try and keep a supply of paper products and simple foods on hand when needed in a hurry.
Spontaneous
This is when the memories occur. I make these wonderful plans and then life happens. One of the children’s favorite camping trips was in June and it was in the 30’s at night. And most of them had the stomach flu. By the end of that trip they each had Indian names; Running Barf, Step in Barf and along that line. They have wonderful memories that didn’t go along as planned.
Yesterday 2 of my children stopped by, then another one called. Oh, if they are there today I’ll come over too. And so on. 4 children, 2 grandchildren and my mom were over and we did end up with pizza because I wasn’t prepared. My house was messy. But we still had fun.
When things don’t go as planned, how do you handle it?
Do you look for the fun? If you do, chances are your children do too. If you’re stressed they will follow your lead for that too..
Point out the things out of the ordinary. You can pass the things by that become a fond memory by calling attention to it. Even if it’s not funny now, it will be later.
Slow Down
Life speeds by fast. My favorite line from the movie YOUR, MINE AND OURS “The days are long but the weeks speed by.” My tendency was to continually tell my children to hurry up. What I had to learn as time seemed to speed up was to slow down. Slow down, deliberately, appreciate life, stop, watch and enjoy. It’s hard to appreciate the little nuances at fast forward. My children grow up faster and faster. My youngest granddaughter turned 2 months yesterday and my daughter couldn’t believe how fast it’s gone. I remember having 5 children 6 and under and feeling like diapers and toddlers would never end. I’d never get a fell nights sleep but it does. Live in the moment. Enjoy your children now.
Create Memories
Look for opportunities to create memories for your children. I know it seems like extra work. I know you’re already tired. But it’s worth it. It doesn’t have to be fancy. I have a wonderful picture that always give some of my children the giggles. It’s a picture of my mom with a paper Transformer mask on, upside down. We have other pictures but that’s their favorite. They wanted to watch the new Transformer movie when it came out on Netflix. When I got the movie I also saw at the store Transformer masks, paper plates and napkins. That can make a party!
It doesn’t have to be big and spectacular. Celebrations can be made in any part of life. What do you do to create memories with your children?
by Christina Renee | Health, Thoughts
My children and I went to the library, shopping and to lunch last week. It took many times longer than it should have, because of me. Every time we stopped my cam walker had to go back on. Then off to drive. Every time someone went in to get a scooter or go get the wheel out of the trunk for me to ride in. Last week I broke my right foot. My good foot. The one without charcot. Now I have two bad feet. I feel incompetent. I feel like a burden.
Its not the first time this had happened. Multiple surgeries, hospital stays, and several pregnancy bed rests, I learned feelings are not facts. Here are 10 Things to Remember When you Feel Like a Burden
Worth
1. Your worth is not determined by your to do list that you check off. Your worth isn’t determined by who you are not by what you do.
Adjust
2. You can learn to adjust for a while. Most of these are temporary. Bed rest, surgeries, broken bones, all of them are temporary. Look at the end in sight.
Grieve
3. Even if it’s permanent, allow your self a time to grieve and then move on. It doesn’t do you any good to continually dwell on it. But a loss is hard. You deserve to grieve, to bury the dreams that went with the loss. I always dreamed of learning to dance and do a 5k. Neither of those will ever be possible now. I was sad. I grieved but I didn’t stay there. I’ve had to learn to move on to live the life I have now.
Modify
4. Adjust and modify things that you can. I can cook sitting down. It’s not as easy but it’s do able. I use a grabber to reach things. I plan on things taking longer to do.
Do What You Can
5. Do the things you can. Even on bed rest there are still things you can do to help your family and run your household. Use this time to plan. I meal planned, scheduled housekeeping, goal planned, and wrote down what I wanted to accomplish and what i wanted my children to accomplish. I played games, read to my children and lots of cuddle time. They need to be reassured during this time.
Learn Something New
6. Use this time to learn something new. If you’ve wanted to learn something now is the time. You tube has videos for almost everything. Crafty has classes. When you feel like a burden learning something new will up your confidence.
Use Your Time Wisely
7. I know the temptation to sit and watch TV, videos, or Hulu. It’s a way to forget your problems and be entertained. But it’s a huge time waster. Try to spend your time on worthwhile things.
Plan A Project
8. Now is a good time to plan a project. If there’s a project you’e been thinking of now is a good time to plan it. It gives you somethimg to ;look forward to and now you have time,. Plan all the steps, costs, where to get materials, everything you need. Then you’ll be a;; ready when your up and about. Just don’t jump ahead and slow your healing. Ask me how I know.
Help Someone Else
9. You can always help somebody. There is always someone worse off and there are always ways to help others. There are many things I can’t go and get things for someone else but I’m a great planner. I can’t chase my grandson who’s a toddler but I can sit for my granddaughters. I have knowledge and wisdom to share. my children call me for advice, I can listen . There is something you can do to contribute.
Who You Are
10. Know who you are in God’s eyes. Your worth is on who you are. You are a child of the King. You are priceless in His eyes. He know every hair on your head. He loves you more than you know.
Have you had the feeling that you are a burden and more of a hindrance than a help? Please share what you’ve learned through this.
by Christina Renee | Health, Thoughts
Living with chronic pain can make me focus on everything I can’t do. I can’t go on the hayride with the kids. Or walk with them. I’ll never take dance lessons. I can’t climb stairs. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. Since having a pity party doesn’t help me or anyone else I need to try to learn to deal with limitations in a positive way.
Accept Your Limitations
I am in a temporary wheelchair or knee scooter. . Temporary as in most of the year, but hope that it’s not permanent. It gets very frustrating trying to get things done. I am over 6 feet tall so my cupboards are arranged for tall people. I’d like to stand for a little bit but I know that would actually set me back. Everyone has limitations in one way or another. I have to focus on what I can do not what I can’t.
Modify What You Can
I have limitations with my hands that prevent me doing a lot of crafts, which I love. However, I do have a daughter that will cut out material so I can sew. I machine sew instead of hand sew since it is so painful. Cook sitting down. I use a paper cutter instead of scissors. And use a grabber to pick things up off the floor.
I’ve asked at my physical therapy for them to find new ways for exercises that I can do sitting. I wrote about living with charcot.
Pace Yourself
I find I have to take a lot of breaks. There are only do so many seated activities before I need to elevate my foot. Learning to alternate between activities I use my hands for and seated ones have been trial and error. Now I know how many breaks I need to take between activiteis such as typing or cooking. Then I need to do something different like read or watch a webinar.
Count the Cost
I know ahead of time if I do this I won’t have enough that. Choices I have to make daily, and sometimes hourly. The best way I’ve found to describe it is called the spoon theory.
Look for the Silver Lining
While living with chronic pain is debilitating in many ways, in all things there is a silver lining if you just look for it. I would never have started this blog if I could go and do more. Appreciate the small things. I really have a pretty great family. They take me places, help me around the house. My kids have had to do way more than other kids for years. They’ve taken my place for younger children school activities when I can’t. They’ve taken me to countless dr appt., tests and visited me in the hospital. And unfortunately, learned to sort pills, use nebulizers, change bandages and give meds in a pic line. I have a great family.
