Here is the last 10 of my 30 things I learned in 30 years of marriage. I hope you have found things that have helped you with your marriage.
21. Be honest with each other. Even small lies are lies. Now, ladies, don’t be asking “Does this make me look fat?” That’s not what I’m talking about. You need to be trustworthy and to be able trust your spouse.
22. It’s not easy. Major understatement!!! Marriage is very hard. You have two different people with different upbringings, different likes and dislikes and some different values. Although you think going in that it’ll be easy to comprise or the other person with give in. Talk, talk, talk. There will always be new things to discuss and work your way through. Even if you thing you’re one with one another. My husband and I still have very different tastes in furniture. It’s hard to agree and marriage is one long agreement after another. Know there will be hard times.
23. Continue to be attractive for each other. Remember when you were dating and you spent and hour or more getting ready? How long do you spend now? I’ll admit I go through times I don’t primp as much and then I have to go back and remember what he looks forward to coming home to. Is your hair done? Please tell me you showered in the last 24 hours. Lipstick, perfume? Is your everyday wardrobe yoga pants and tees? I know some days that’s easy and some can look cute even. But , do you take the time to look attractive for your spouse? If nothing else, at least a couple times a week. And look great for date night.
24. You’ll never stop learning about your spouse. You will be surprised there are things you don’t know. After living with them years, decades, you will be sure you know all about them. But you won’t. You’ll change, he’ll change and they’ll be something new for both of you.
25. Make a will. Get your paperwork in order. Know your spouses wishes, just in case. You never think it’s going to happen to you but it happens to someone everyday.
26. Always remember the good times. Especially when you’re in the middle of the bad times. Those are the memories that will keep you going.
27. Beware of outside influences. I know both of you have close friends and family members. Just like I know they mean well. But they are not the one you are married to. They may think they have all our best interests at heart and I am sure they do. But they only have an outside view of your marriage and only know what you tell them. They only have 1 point of view.
28. On the opposite side, do ask for help when you need it. I’d suggest someone who has a great marriage. We’ve been to marriage enrichment weekends that were wonderful. We’ve talked to our Pastor before on issues. Some of the best counsel we ever received was from a couple who had been married over 40 years.
29. Admit when you’re wrong. Say I’m sorry. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes at some time or another so I am sure you will too.
30. Surprise them unexpectedly. There are times that gifts are expected; Christmas, birthdays, anniversary. We chose to take the money usually spent on many “holidays” and use the money to go to a hotel overnight. Best gift ever, in my opinion. Time alone, uninterrupted conversations, no dishes or housework staring you in the face. But I love giving and receiving little gifts. Flowers, chocolate, candles, little things that you know will touch their heart. Totally unexpected and very sweet.
I hope you have enjoyed this short series of 30 things I’ve learned in 30 years of marriage. You can find part 1 here and part 2 here. Please let me know what has helped or if you have any tips to share, please comment below.