That’s what I heard when my sister walked into the room. It’d been over a year since I’d seen her and I miss her. Talking a couple times a week on the phone isn’t the same as seeing her in person. Although my first thoughts were” Oh, no. I look a mess. The house is a mess. Nothing is ready.”
Lack of Grace
Does anyone else have those thoughts when someone stops unexpectedly? I don’t know about your house, but at mine, no one ever stops right after we’ve cleaned. And we have really good baked goods to serve them that haven’t been gobbled up. I’d really like it if I was all put together, nicely dressed, make up, hair done. Does that happen? No. Do you give yourself the grace you give to others? Why is it so much easier to giving yourself grace to others than it is to give it to yourself?
Feeling Less Than
You see, my sister is beautiful. I mean really beautiful, and slim, and she looks so put together. And me, well, first of all I still have my cast. What was she thinking coming up while I was still in a wheelchair? And I’m fat and I had no makeup on. I can’t wear cute clothes with my cast. I refuse to buy more because that means it’s a long time thing. And yes, it has been a long time thing but I still don’t want to admit it.
My sister is a cleanie. She actually likes to clean! I know there are people that do, I just find it odd. I love having my house clean, but to me cleaning house is just a means to an end. And it was Friday, the day my house looks it’s worst. We have clean up day every Saturday morning. While we pick up each evening but I don’t make the children clean their room well every day. And we do the basics in the rest of the rooms.
She was so gracious on the state of my house. She helped clean, even the kids rooms. Actually, she just took over cleaning and was a mini drill Sargent with them but they love her dearly and didn’t mind. Beautiful grace in action. She clearly modeled giving yourself grace to everyone here.
How would we do anything fun? Well, we did. We had a wonderful time. We went out to dinner and shopping the next day. I still took naps and she visited with the children. She stayed in my girls room and had one on one time with them. Into the wee hours where my 13 year old talked until 2 and said I’m going to sleep now and still talked more. We had a family get together and she loved on the grand-babies. She loved on my babies too. Huge heart to overflowing.
Missing Memories or Making Memories
If I had panicked the whole time about the state of the house or my appearance or my children’s actions I would have missed so much. When I was younger I worried so much about the appearance. My older children remember cleaning for 2 days and cooking to make everything “perfect.” Now I know nothing is ever perfect. While I don’t want a mess and want my house comfortably clean, I know that getting my heart ready is so much more important that getting my house ready. Making memories is so much more important than “perfect”. Giving yourself grace to not be perfect and just be is so worth it.
Is this a struggle for you? Do you fret about appearances more than people?
Thank you Tammy for coming to visit. It meant the world to me.