by Christina Renee | Children, Parenting
As I was talking recipes on the phone with my daughter, she was laughingly coaxing her 20 month old son to let go of her leg while cooking. So I shared my tips for toddlers in the kitchen that I had used when she and her siblings were little. It’s important that even toddlers feel helpful and included and as they get older they will actually be a help. You need to put the time in now and it’s almost all one way. I do think you get paid back in hugs and smiles. Then later they are a little help and at about age 10 or so it pays back in big dividends.
Their Own Place in the Kitchen
Have them their own cupboard for their dishes and Tupperware. I had small plastic or unbreakable dishware so that they could get their own dishes out. I also had a Tupperware ( mismatched) cabinet for them with wooden spoons so they could mix too. One child had a habit of crawling into it and playing in the cabinet instead of the Tupperware.
If They Can Get It Out, They Can Put It Away, with Help
Also, if they are old enough to get it out, they are old enough to put it back. Now please realize they are not actually just going to put it back. It is you getting on the floor with them and taking their little hand and showing them piece by piece how to put it back. Yes it will be incredibly faster if you do it yourself. However time spent investing teaching them will return many times over. Not only will they learn to be a help to you they will become wonderful self sufficient adults.
It Takes Longer
Add more time. For each child I added 15 minutes to whatever I was doing per child. That way they don’t think hurry up is your favorite phrase. You have time to enjoy the activity with them if you’re not thinking how far behind you are. When they are totally able to get themselves ready then you can subtract that 15 minutes.
Chair Time
High chair time. If you are working on the stove and can’t have them near, use the high chair. I’ve given them pudding to “paint” with on their chair. Remember, if they still put things in their mouth, then everything needs to be safe and edible. Edible play dough is great. 1/3 nut butter, 1/3 honey. 1/3 powdered milk. Put in a container and keep in the fridge. I’ve given them tape before rolled so it’s sticky on both sides and they move it from one hand to another. Some days the cost of a half roll of tape is worth 10 minutes. They can string cheerios on a spaghetti noodle or a piece of licorice.
Little Copycats
Let them copy whatever you’re doing. When I made biscuits or bread I gave them part of the dough to make their own mini loaf. Give them a bowl to stir or let them help. They can help put toppings on pizza or sandwiches. As they get older you can give them a lettuce knife to help cut lettuce, cheese, pb sandwiches, etc.
Close to You
Keep them near you. Young children are happier when they can be close to you. They are happier and learn work is normal. We’ve taught them phrases such as “We love to help, We work before we play.” Teaching them to work at a young age is so much easier than breaking bad habits of sitting in front of the tv as a baby sitter and then changing that pattern later.
Be Creative
When my little girls were 2 and 3, they so badly wanted to wash dishes. Now I had let them once before and I knew what a mess they had made. Everything was wet, the floor, counters and most of all them. But I didn’t want to discourage them so came up with a creative solution. Trash bags. I cut out holes for their head and arms and it kept them dry. Look for creative ideas that can help you in ways to engage your toddlers.
Make it Fun and Purposeful
If you make work fun, it doesn’t seem as much like work. Don’t complain about the work you have to do. It is a privilege to be able to care for your family. I know in the past years when I couldn’t do as much I missed it. Sing while you work. Pray for whom you’re doing it for. I know when I fold clothes I pray for the person I’m folding. I told them when they were little we’re making this to bless daddy, he works so hard for us. Or if it was a special dish. this is Sam’s favorite. If someone was down, let’s cheer them up and help them. Everyone has to work so it might as well be fun, plus they learn to bless others.
Nurture Them
Engage them. I would talk to my children while we cooked. We would sing and I would teach them songs. I’ve keep scripture cards or song lyrics on the inside of my cupboards and would work on memorizing them and so would they. Children learn memorization at a faster rate so don’t get discouraged if they learn it faster than you. I had a board book when they were younger that had a short verse for each letter. Instead of A is for apple it was A- All have sinned. It was amazing how fast they picked up on it.
Be Mindful of Where You’re Taking Them
As you’re putting these tips for toddlers in the kitchen in place think about where you’re going. You are training their habits while they are young. These are the same habits they will have later. Now if they have bad habits as toddlers, they can be retrained as younger children. I know, I’ve done it. But it takes a lot more work. Get in the habit of starting with them as toddlers and working together. As they get older children will share a lot of things on their hearts while working side by side. But you have to put the time in first.
Please remember these years are fleeting but the memories are forever. They really do go fast. I know when mine were little I was told how quickly it goes. With many little ones I really didn’t believe it and it really really didn’t feel like. But time passes and they grow up. Enjoy them.
I hope these tips for toddlers in the kitchen have helped you. Let me know which one is your favorite or another tip you have.
by Christina Renee | Children, Thoughts
Watch and Listen
I spent the last two weeks watching 13 Reasons Why with my youngest daughters, ages 13 and 17. We’d watch an episode and discuss it. They had both read the book in school. Sometimes the discussion took longer than watching the episode. We talked about each episode and the reason she thought they were responsible for her death. In 13 Reasons Why the tapes that Hannah Baker made were to tell the Thirteen Reasons Why they were responsible for her killing herself.
Taking Responsibility
Before we even started watching the series we talked about whether other people could be responsible for what we do. Who is responsible for our actions.? The people who hurt us or are we ourselves only responsible? We talked about how how much pain she caused her parents. Are we only responsible for our actions or for the way our actions affect others? And to what extent?
Rumors, Lies and Lists
Watching each episode I made note of what happened to cause despair. We talked about rumors and lies that were spread. The lies that were told to make one person would feel better about themselves and another person feel worse. We talked about the “best” list and the difference between boys and girls. How the guys saw the best list as a compliment and girls would never even think of making a list. set a list that only listed a physical attribute. The list compartmentalized each person to that part of their body, not as a whole person or part of their character but just that body part.
Fair Weather Friends
We talked about how friends can hurt you and makes trusting difficult. Choosing wise friends and how to be careful until you know that they are trustworthy. We discussed being safe in many different situations. How to protect themselves and their reputations.
Talking to your Parents
We discussed how much her parents hurt. The agony that they were going through at the loss of her. We talked about what if it was hard to talk to your parents. What made it hard? What would make it easier and who else to talk to if you couldn’t talk to your parents. But that there was always somebody that they can talk to you instead of just going and harming themselves. I asked them who they talked to when they had things bothering them? And we went through who they could talk to. Although i would really love it if they would talk to me I am happy to know they have someone trustworthy that they can talk to.
Bullying
In 13 Reasons Why there was so much bullying in school and hurtful situations. I asked how it compared to their schools. Was it better or worse? How could it improve? We talked again of any instances they had had a bullying in school and what to do if it happened again. How it had made them feel and how they felt now?
Self Harm
Another topic that came up was cutting. They both knew friends who did it. I asked if they had ever thought of it and why? Skye in the series said it was what you did instead of committing suicide. It implied that was the only other option to her. So we tried to figure out why this was such a common choice right now ( it’s one thing they can control) and different options.
Rape
One of the more difficult topics were the rapes in 2 of the episodes. How often in happened in real life, verbally saying no!!!, how to avoid those situations and how and when to fight back. We also discussed them taking self defense courses.
Heroine or Victim
We also discussed Hannah’s Baker’s role in this series. How she was made out to be both of heroine and the victim. Which was she? How do we know the difference? The burden she put on Tony to disperse all of the tapes. the secrecy she wanted. Whether or not they were responsible for each of their actions for her death? Who was responsible? We decided just as you’re responsible for your actions, you are also responsible for your reactions. What is your take?
Discussion
In the end, watching 13 Reasons why with my daughters was enlightening and very worthwhile. Not because of the show as much as the discussions it prompted. I loved the opportunity for my daughters and I to have many evenings to discuss some very heavy subjects and to hear their hearts. If you have watched 13 Reasons Why with your teens what did you think? Did you discuss the series? What insight did you gain into your child?
by Christina Renee | Children, Parenting
I have 10 children and 4 grandchildren now. Each are very different and have many varied different interests. They were taught a lot of the same things, but each ones take on it was different. Different likes, dislikes and ways of making it their own. We need to not only accept but to be celebrating our children’s differences.
Things I’ve Taught
As adults I can see how they have taken the things I have taught and made them their own. My oldest daughter is a wonderful cook. She even has a business selling soups and breads. She is a coffee connoisseur, I don’t even like coffee. I have taught all my children how to cook but some like it better than others. She also has a knitting business. However, when my granddaughter asked about learning she sew; she told her there’s no such thing as sewing. Ha ha. Needless to say, her sewing lessons didn’t go so well.
I have two daughters that love to coupon and save money. Both of them are far better than I taught them and have totally different approaches to how they do it. One tracks it all on her phone and the other has a marvelous financial binder that would look at home in a Dave Ramsey class. She also does freezer cooking once a month to save time and money. I remember when we did it growing up and she said she’d never do that. But she’s very good at it and sees the time and labor saving now.
Create
Our children are their own person. Even though I teach all of them to cook, some like it, some have loved it and others do it just because they have to eat. I brought them along side when I was doing and they learned and made it their own. I love to sew and quilt. They have each had introductory sewing but no one likes it yet. But they like to create in other ways. One knits, some scrapbook, one makes jewelry, one does woodworking, one embroiders. They have learned to love art in many forms.
Celebrating Our Children’s Differences
Our children are not cookie cutter forms, while we as a parents are they same , we cannot respond to each child them same. We have to find what works for them. Even discipline depends on the child. I have a daughter if you even look at her crossly she can burst into tears and another had a very bad melt down and I ended up holding for hours on end. We have to look to see if this is childish behavior or a sin and treat accordingly. We must look at their heart.
Finding Their Bent
When we are looking toward their future we need to see the bent they are going. Some we need to train but God has instilled in their hearts love for certain areas. I have a son even before he was 2 want to use tools and helping. Now I know at the time he was not a help to my husband fixing things and learning to use tools. Now he is a welder and a huge help whenever he stops by. I have a son who is a computer geek and isn’t that handy? We have to look to see what they love and find resources to help them. Listen to them dream. Help them achieve. And we need to be celebrating our children’s differences.
by Christina Renee | Children, Parenting, Thoughts
Creating memories with your children is one of the best ways to tie heart strings. This works not only with parents and children but also children with each other. I’ve told my children that their brothers and sisters will be their best friends. They are the ones who will know them through out their whole lives. They can depend on each other and share their history together.
I love hearing my children reminisce about things they’ve done together, adventures they’ve had, games they played and vacations memories. Creating memories with your children is both spontaneous and planned. You have to look for both.
Plan
Make a plan for family times. We have family dinners with conversation starters each night. We’ve had family vacations. Theme dinners. large family dinners and birthday parties. Game nights and pizza and movie nights. We celebrate accomplishments and share each others burdens. We have a hat party coming up/ I found a package of hats last time I shopped at T J Max. It has 6 different hats in it so we’ll have a fun party night coming up. Not sure when yet but a night when we need to celebrate or cheer someone up, I’ll bring out the hats. I also try and keep a supply of paper products and simple foods on hand when needed in a hurry.
Spontaneous
This is when the memories occur. I make these wonderful plans and then life happens. One of the children’s favorite camping trips was in June and it was in the 30’s at night. And most of them had the stomach flu. By the end of that trip they each had Indian names; Running Barf, Step in Barf and along that line. They have wonderful memories that didn’t go along as planned.
Yesterday 2 of my children stopped by, then another one called. Oh, if they are there today I’ll come over too. And so on. 4 children, 2 grandchildren and my mom were over and we did end up with pizza because I wasn’t prepared. My house was messy. But we still had fun.
When things don’t go as planned, how do you handle it?
Do you look for the fun? If you do, chances are your children do too. If you’re stressed they will follow your lead for that too..
Point out the things out of the ordinary. You can pass the things by that become a fond memory by calling attention to it. Even if it’s not funny now, it will be later.
Slow Down
Life speeds by fast. My favorite line from the movie YOUR, MINE AND OURS “The days are long but the weeks speed by.” My tendency was to continually tell my children to hurry up. What I had to learn as time seemed to speed up was to slow down. Slow down, deliberately, appreciate life, stop, watch and enjoy. It’s hard to appreciate the little nuances at fast forward. My children grow up faster and faster. My youngest granddaughter turned 2 months yesterday and my daughter couldn’t believe how fast it’s gone. I remember having 5 children 6 and under and feeling like diapers and toddlers would never end. I’d never get a fell nights sleep but it does. Live in the moment. Enjoy your children now.
Create Memories
Look for opportunities to create memories for your children. I know it seems like extra work. I know you’re already tired. But it’s worth it. It doesn’t have to be fancy. I have a wonderful picture that always give some of my children the giggles. It’s a picture of my mom with a paper Transformer mask on, upside down. We have other pictures but that’s their favorite. They wanted to watch the new Transformer movie when it came out on Netflix. When I got the movie I also saw at the store Transformer masks, paper plates and napkins. That can make a party!
It doesn’t have to be big and spectacular. Celebrations can be made in any part of life. What do you do to create memories with your children?
by Christina Renee | Children, Parenting
New motherhood is exhilarating! And exhausting, humbling and you feel more love jump out of your chest than you ever thought possible. I have been a mother for more than 33 years now. My daughter became one last week. It will give you some of the greatest highs and lows you will ever experience. Such are the blessings of children.
Motherhood can be so rewarding but there are days it feels like it is anything but important. Changing diapers, wiping noses, refereeing, these tasks can feels endless and definitely not important. One time we had 5 children 6 and under and it felt like I did was change diapers, potty train and answer why. I just wanted to go to the bathroom by myself. We can be consumed by the work of motherhood or we can remember the blessings of children that they are and even more will be with love, care and training.
My daughter called a couple weeks ago and said she remembered by family photos we so hard growing up now. She was taking her one year old for pictures and just as they got there he threw up all over his pants and all over her. I couldn’t give you a number the times we would go to leave the house and a baby or toddler would wet or throw up just when we were ready to leave the house. It seemed like it would never end.
But things do change. The nighttime feeding lead to potty training and “terrible twos.” Then there are temper tantrums, whining and disrespect/selfishness of teens that needs to be worked on. All that need dealt with and worked on. It is hard to remember the loving newborn feelings we had in the midst of a temper tantrum. These are the times to remember to love and train our children. It is hard to balance a teeter totter of both. I see so many mothers today wanting to be friends with their children at the expense of training their children. There is a time for friendship, you need the basis of it when they’re are growing up but it will mostly be when they are adults. I am so thankful and blessed to have the friendship of my adult children.
Enjoy them. I see the other end of the scale where mothers do all they can to care for their children but they don’t really enjoy them. They never really receive all the blessings of children. Your children will not remember if everything is not perfect around your house but they will remember the memories you made. Enjoy the pleasure of their company. Try and set up some one on one time. Make memories. We have movie and pizza night on Fridays, dinner time questions, games. Cherish each day.
by Christina Renee | Children, Parenting
My mother told me many times while my children were growing up was “Write it down”. I did a few things but she’s right, many I forgot. Here are a few funny things kids say to make you laugh. Maybe you’ll realize your kids just aren’t that bad. Smile.
WOW
Our oldest son has always like tools. He started taking things apart from 18 months old. Many times taking him away from the outlets. One day we heard a noise. He had taken all the outlet covers off with his sister barrette! The noise we heard was him shocking himself. Wow! was all he said.
Cooking
My two sons then (11 & 12) were cooking supper and were making sloppy joes and baked beans. The 11 yo just wanted to dump it all together and get it done. The 12 yo replied “that’s not the way you do it, you put the beans in this pan and add just a hint of bbq sauce.” (He loves to cook.) But, my older daughter thought he might just be watching too much Martha Stewart with me.
My 3 and 5 year olds were outside hungry. My 5yo daughter proceeded to make a “salad” for her brother out of grass and leaves. It must not have been to good because he came in quite indignantly and stated” SERENE CAN’T COOK!” Unfortunately, it’s still not her strong suit.
Gross
We were on the way to the library and I heard a voice yell” Ooooh don’t eat that, have my abc gum instead.” I, of course, thought this was awful and asked what was going on. “Mom, Zach found gum on the bottom of his shoe and ate it so I gave him my abc gum instead since that was gross.” Aren’t these awful?
Then another daughter said “that’s nothing. ” He was on sisters bed and whizzed on her pillow and I knew if she found out she’d be mad so I stuck in in the dryer and then sprayed it with perfume.”
Dad Helped
My son was 2 when my husband was dry-walling the ceiling in our garage. Of course, he has to help. He came inside, “I did it all, but Dad helped.”
Buy His Wife A House
I took my oldest ( 11yo) son to the bank with me today. I try to rotate children on errands so I can spend some one on one time with each of them. We were driving from the bank and he tells me “Mom, when I get my shoveling business, I’m going to open a bank account. That way I can buy my wife a house when I get married.” Before you think he is too mature, this is the same son who later that afternoon, chased his sister with a dead mouse.
Dress Up
My 5yo daughter loves to play dress up. Her older sister just recently made her a play dress, forgetting about seam allowances and preshrinking. Needless to say this is now a very tight short dress, you can see she has monkeys on her undies, that short. She can downstairs batting her eyelashes, asking how she looked. My oldest daughter was there visiting and suggested more clothing on. So she went back up and later came down wrapped up in a coat. “Does this make me look like a granny?” “Nooooo“, my oldest daughter replied. “What else do you have on?” “THIS!” she states, waving the coat wide open showing money undies.
Quiet
The same oldest daughter visiting likes it quiet. Her home is quiet, they have one little girl. She is sitting in the chair, I have 1 daughter practicing the piano, 2 toddlers, (hers and mine) with the 5 yo playing and squealing, children making other noises and a son using a drill to tighten screws in a stool. She tells me in a low voice” I think I will start twitching now.”
