by Christina Renee | Children, Parenting, Thoughts
Creating memories with your children is one of the best ways to tie heart strings. This works not only with parents and children but also children with each other. I’ve told my children that their brothers and sisters will be their best friends. They are the ones who will know them through out their whole lives. They can depend on each other and share their history together.
I love hearing my children reminisce about things they’ve done together, adventures they’ve had, games they played and vacations memories. Creating memories with your children is both spontaneous and planned. You have to look for both.
Plan
Make a plan for family times. We have family dinners with conversation starters each night. We’ve had family vacations. Theme dinners. large family dinners and birthday parties. Game nights and pizza and movie nights. We celebrate accomplishments and share each others burdens. We have a hat party coming up/ I found a package of hats last time I shopped at T J Max. It has 6 different hats in it so we’ll have a fun party night coming up. Not sure when yet but a night when we need to celebrate or cheer someone up, I’ll bring out the hats. I also try and keep a supply of paper products and simple foods on hand when needed in a hurry.
Spontaneous
This is when the memories occur. I make these wonderful plans and then life happens. One of the children’s favorite camping trips was in June and it was in the 30’s at night. And most of them had the stomach flu. By the end of that trip they each had Indian names; Running Barf, Step in Barf and along that line. They have wonderful memories that didn’t go along as planned.
Yesterday 2 of my children stopped by, then another one called. Oh, if they are there today I’ll come over too. And so on. 4 children, 2 grandchildren and my mom were over and we did end up with pizza because I wasn’t prepared. My house was messy. But we still had fun.
When things don’t go as planned, how do you handle it?
Do you look for the fun? If you do, chances are your children do too. If you’re stressed they will follow your lead for that too..
Point out the things out of the ordinary. You can pass the things by that become a fond memory by calling attention to it. Even if it’s not funny now, it will be later.
Slow Down
Life speeds by fast. My favorite line from the movie YOUR, MINE AND OURS “The days are long but the weeks speed by.” My tendency was to continually tell my children to hurry up. What I had to learn as time seemed to speed up was to slow down. Slow down, deliberately, appreciate life, stop, watch and enjoy. It’s hard to appreciate the little nuances at fast forward. My children grow up faster and faster. My youngest granddaughter turned 2 months yesterday and my daughter couldn’t believe how fast it’s gone. I remember having 5 children 6 and under and feeling like diapers and toddlers would never end. I’d never get a fell nights sleep but it does. Live in the moment. Enjoy your children now.
Create Memories
Look for opportunities to create memories for your children. I know it seems like extra work. I know you’re already tired. But it’s worth it. It doesn’t have to be fancy. I have a wonderful picture that always give some of my children the giggles. It’s a picture of my mom with a paper Transformer mask on, upside down. We have other pictures but that’s their favorite. They wanted to watch the new Transformer movie when it came out on Netflix. When I got the movie I also saw at the store Transformer masks, paper plates and napkins. That can make a party!
It doesn’t have to be big and spectacular. Celebrations can be made in any part of life. What do you do to create memories with your children?
by Christina Renee | Children, Parenting
New motherhood is exhilarating! And exhausting, humbling and you feel more love jump out of your chest than you ever thought possible. I have been a mother for more than 33 years now. My daughter became one last week. It will give you some of the greatest highs and lows you will ever experience. Such are the blessings of children.
Motherhood can be so rewarding but there are days it feels like it is anything but important. Changing diapers, wiping noses, refereeing, these tasks can feels endless and definitely not important. One time we had 5 children 6 and under and it felt like I did was change diapers, potty train and answer why. I just wanted to go to the bathroom by myself. We can be consumed by the work of motherhood or we can remember the blessings of children that they are and even more will be with love, care and training.
My daughter called a couple weeks ago and said she remembered by family photos we so hard growing up now. She was taking her one year old for pictures and just as they got there he threw up all over his pants and all over her. I couldn’t give you a number the times we would go to leave the house and a baby or toddler would wet or throw up just when we were ready to leave the house. It seemed like it would never end.
But things do change. The nighttime feeding lead to potty training and “terrible twos.” Then there are temper tantrums, whining and disrespect/selfishness of teens that needs to be worked on. All that need dealt with and worked on. It is hard to remember the loving newborn feelings we had in the midst of a temper tantrum. These are the times to remember to love and train our children. It is hard to balance a teeter totter of both. I see so many mothers today wanting to be friends with their children at the expense of training their children. There is a time for friendship, you need the basis of it when they’re are growing up but it will mostly be when they are adults. I am so thankful and blessed to have the friendship of my adult children.
Enjoy them. I see the other end of the scale where mothers do all they can to care for their children but they don’t really enjoy them. They never really receive all the blessings of children. Your children will not remember if everything is not perfect around your house but they will remember the memories you made. Enjoy the pleasure of their company. Try and set up some one on one time. Make memories. We have movie and pizza night on Fridays, dinner time questions, games. Cherish each day.
by Christina Renee | Children, Parenting
My mother told me many times while my children were growing up was “Write it down”. I did a few things but she’s right, many I forgot. Here are a few funny things kids say to make you laugh. Maybe you’ll realize your kids just aren’t that bad. Smile.
WOW
Our oldest son has always like tools. He started taking things apart from 18 months old. Many times taking him away from the outlets. One day we heard a noise. He had taken all the outlet covers off with his sister barrette! The noise we heard was him shocking himself. Wow! was all he said.
Cooking
My two sons then (11 & 12) were cooking supper and were making sloppy joes and baked beans. The 11 yo just wanted to dump it all together and get it done. The 12 yo replied “that’s not the way you do it, you put the beans in this pan and add just a hint of bbq sauce.” (He loves to cook.) But, my older daughter thought he might just be watching too much Martha Stewart with me.
My 3 and 5 year olds were outside hungry. My 5yo daughter proceeded to make a “salad” for her brother out of grass and leaves. It must not have been to good because he came in quite indignantly and stated” SERENE CAN’T COOK!” Unfortunately, it’s still not her strong suit.
Gross
We were on the way to the library and I heard a voice yell” Ooooh don’t eat that, have my abc gum instead.” I, of course, thought this was awful and asked what was going on. “Mom, Zach found gum on the bottom of his shoe and ate it so I gave him my abc gum instead since that was gross.” Aren’t these awful?
Then another daughter said “that’s nothing. ” He was on sisters bed and whizzed on her pillow and I knew if she found out she’d be mad so I stuck in in the dryer and then sprayed it with perfume.”
Dad Helped
My son was 2 when my husband was dry-walling the ceiling in our garage. Of course, he has to help. He came inside, “I did it all, but Dad helped.”
Buy His Wife A House
I took my oldest ( 11yo) son to the bank with me today. I try to rotate children on errands so I can spend some one on one time with each of them. We were driving from the bank and he tells me “Mom, when I get my shoveling business, I’m going to open a bank account. That way I can buy my wife a house when I get married.” Before you think he is too mature, this is the same son who later that afternoon, chased his sister with a dead mouse.
Dress Up
My 5yo daughter loves to play dress up. Her older sister just recently made her a play dress, forgetting about seam allowances and preshrinking. Needless to say this is now a very tight short dress, you can see she has monkeys on her undies, that short. She can downstairs batting her eyelashes, asking how she looked. My oldest daughter was there visiting and suggested more clothing on. So she went back up and later came down wrapped up in a coat. “Does this make me look like a granny?” “Nooooo“, my oldest daughter replied. “What else do you have on?” “THIS!” she states, waving the coat wide open showing money undies.
Quiet
The same oldest daughter visiting likes it quiet. Her home is quiet, they have one little girl. She is sitting in the chair, I have 1 daughter practicing the piano, 2 toddlers, (hers and mine) with the 5 yo playing and squealing, children making other noises and a son using a drill to tighten screws in a stool. She tells me in a low voice” I think I will start twitching now.”
by Christina Renee | Family, Parenting
First, I want to say my children do not always speak kindly to one another. It is a work in progress.
Don’t Let Them Be Unkind
I do not let them tease or put down each other. They have to say 3 things nice about that sibling when I hear them saying it. Yes, it is a lot of work that way. And like pulling teeth to get the compliments for the other brother or sister they have offended. Plus they can have really lame remarks like ” I like that you’re the youngest.” I am sure that I don’t get every time they are unkind but they are more careful since they don’t know when Mom is listening.
Guard Our Tongues
We have also talked about guarding their tongues. I used an illistration of doors you have to go through to make sure it’s appropriate. An obstacle course was used when we first demonstrated the obstacles we had to think through before we spoke.
Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it nessasary?
Children went under a door for is it true. Over a chair for is it kind. And jumped over a large stuffed animal for is it nessasary. We discussed saying unnessasry things being said, even if it was kind and true, was like jumping on the stuffed animal and hurting it. The same way saying unnessasary things hurt others feelings.
Repeat, Repeat, Repeat
These are the things we have to guard when we speak. Some many times I’ve reprimanded a child for saying something and the retort is “But it’s true!” But it also has to be nessasary and kind. Be prepared to go over and over this again. It’s also a good reminder for myself. This is something I have to be viligant about. I have to think before I speak so I do not wound my childs spirit. I have to listen and be ready to correct them with kindness, And I have to
by Christina Renee | Parenting, Uncategorized
Going Home
When getting ready for baby a big part of planning is going home. You will have visitors. Don’t be afraid to tell them it’s not a good time. And when those visitors do come, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Yes they want to hold the baby but they also want you to feel cared for. A lot of people offer but are not quite sure what needs done. Have a list, laundry folded, dishes, etc.
Rest
Get your rest. You are responsible for someone else now and they need you to be rested too. Nap when the baby naps. Now you won’t need to nap every time but make it a point to get at least one good nap a day in.
Relationships
Your relationship with your honey will change. Make sure you both get some time alone, even if it’s just to take a hot bath at first. You’ll need that to recharge. You can’t give from an empty cup. Fill yours up.
Get time together too. Try and get an adult date in but don’t be surprised if you spend most of your time talking about the baby. You’ll get in a new rythym together. You don’t even have to go out. Have a date night in.
Be Safe but not Fearful
There is all these new things are not supposed to do. Use commom sense. I am not telling you to throw everything you are told but all my children are fine and I never once heated up a lunch meat sandwich.
You Don’t Need Everything
I know many book tell you an abundance of baby needs. Have you ever seen a comercial that contrasts the first baby with 2nd or 3rd babies, HUGE difference. Getting ready for baby does include a lot of stuff, just not as much as you read about.
A few things I loved: a sling, baby loves being close to mom and you have your hands free. And you can use them a long while.
A swing when they are little or a bouncy seat. These only get used a few months but they can be life savers. They only need a few toys and lots of love and cuddles.
It Goes Quick
While there are times when it seems like they will be crying (I had 3 with colic) or you will be changing diapers forever, it goes much faster than you think it will. My youngest is now 10 but at one point we had 5 children 6 and under. Wow, looking back, I’m not sure how we did it but I do know it went fast. I look back on pictures of when they were young and it seems like forever ago. Savor the times you have now. It’s gone really fast.
Here is a link to part 1 if you found this helpful.
by Christina Renee | Children, Parenting
My daughter is due for her first baby next month. As a grandma, I am excited and I love when my girls call with parenting questions. Here are some things to do for getting ready for baby before the birth. In part 2 we’ll talk about the after.
Take Care of Yourself
While there are a multitude of things to get done; take frequent naps. Getting sleep the last few weeks is hard. Taking naps can help, a lot. A tired mommy is usually a crabby mommy too. Everything always looks worse when you’re tired so getting enough rest before baby comes is crucial. You sure won’t make it up later.
Get a haircut, a mani-pedi or whatever you like to do to look your best. If your anything like I was, you probably feel fat and totally uncomfortable. A new look help perk you up and makes you feel better about those soon to be new baby photo shots.
Pack your Bag Early
Make sure you have roomy, comfy clothes to go home in that make you feel good. Your skinny jeans won’t fit for a while and with everything leaking you’ll be glad for that pretty top that makes you feel good. A few things not on most list I learned were helpful. I packed a diffuser, You can’t bring candles and that hospital smell is blech! Music, tinted lip balm- I love Burts Bees, face wipes and moisturizer. Don’t forget your favorite shower gel just keep odors light for baby. Remember a few things for dad too. A clean shirt, non-smelly snacks and change for the vending machine.
Home and Food
Get your home ready. I know nesting comes in the last couple of months so use the time wisely. Pace yourself. Don’t empty all the cupboards or closets at once. You’ll get tired and sit down and cry looking at all the mess. Do one small area at a time.
Cook ahead and stock up. I tried to plan out the first 2 months of meals for when I was home with the new baby. You don’t need to spend as much time in the kitchen when you could be cuddling or napping. I love New Leaf Wellness for her great meals that are crockpot ready. I still do these now, when a cut of meat goes on sale I make 4 usually, one for dinner 3 for the freezer. That keeps a variety and since I’m always buying at sale prices it’s reasonable.
At the Hospital
Ask the nurses. They’ve heard everything. They’ll be able to give you all kinds of tips. Move around, you can get achy staying in one spot and hospital beds are not really comfortable. Don’t expect everything on your birthing plan to go just right. It won’t. Expect some change up. Tomorrow I’ll have part 2.
