by Christina Renee | Thoughts
When I am choosing my best here are some words I use to evaluate if it’s the right choice.Do I consider the material I am examining essential for my children’s pursuit of God and godliness, or is it merely peripheral? Is this idea or that thought indispensable for their walk in the Spirit, or is it only incidental? And most important, will it stir within them a thirst for God, a hunger for His Word, and a desire to represent Him well as salt in the earth.”
Changed into His Image by Jim Berg
Choosing Your Best
I have had many times through out all the respiratory infections unable to not only breath easily, but also unable to speak. Through these times I not haven’t had a voice above a whisper. So I have to choose very carefully the things I need to say since I can’t say it all. I also have paper and pen but I still don’t write as fast as I could talk. It is very limiting. But also, I am limited to the necessary. My children have been wonderful about pitching in together and meals, housework. They have brought me tea, water, books and movies. But I have looked at the superfluous that I have been doing. When it is hard to breathe; many, many things are unnecessary. So I am looking for what changes I need to be making. Where do I need to cut and what?
Pace Yourself
Life goes on at it’s own pace whether we do or not. I have had a lot of health problems this summer, again. My children have been tremendous helps with all the extra chores and cooking that I have not been able to keep pace with. Some days I have more energy than others. One of the hardest things for me is pacing myself. I tend to flat out run until I can’t and find that is no longer a possibility. So I have been pondering what God is teaching me and my family through this.
His Best
Because even though I am the one who is ill, my family bares a lot of the brunt of the effects. I do not have the stamina so have had so I am having to be more careful in the choices I am making. Good, better, best has new meaning when you know that only is not only the best choice but physically possible. If I can only read for a little while without going hoarse, you can bet I am trying to choose the best book and not just a good one. I love to cook, and I love to make elaborate meals too but if I am too tired afterward to visit with my family and hold an intelligent conversation, a simpler meal is the best choice. Besides, all meals look fancy by candlelight. So, daily, hourly, I find myself seeking God for His best instead of my best and I think that is what I needed all along.
When you go into a store they have listings for items; good, better and best. We have those same choices. But so many times we fall into a pattern or a rut and just do what we have always done. So God has given me this time to evaluate the good, better or best in my life and I am planning some changes. I want things in my life, my husbands, life and my children’s lives that will stir up a thirst for God, that will cause them to pursue Him and represent Him all of our lives and I am willing to do whatever I can to change that. Examine your life, don’t wait for God to take you in hand so you are dependant on Him for your next breath. (We are anyway but you don’t have to sound like Darth Vader doing so.) Ask Him where you need to change, what priorities are only good and not the best for you and your family. What is the best?
by Christina Renee | Home, Thoughts
I want to be living life on purpose. Not just doing what is easy or urgent. It’s so much easier to do whatever looks like its necessary to do next, not thinking and planning and doing. I’ve tried New Years resolutions that never made it past January, let alone October. So I am trying to strengthen bad habits and add new ones a couple at a time. As a busy mom and (also right now not as able to get around) I don’t do it all. However, I do manage it all. Here are some things that work for me and habits I am adding.
Rising Early
I have my quiet time with God in the morning. It is what sustains me through the day and keeps me going, as well as being a much kinder person. I like to get a head start on the morning before anyone gets up. If I arise late I feel behind the whole day. But that starts with going to bed early which I am going to have to work much harder at. So I need to set a bedtime and stick with it.
A Schedule
A schedule… things flow so much smoother with a schedule. Children know what to expect and they really do like it. We get much more done, both the necessary stuff, homework, housework, meals, and laundry. As well as the fun stuff, baking, scrap booking, game night and fishing.
Exercise
I need to add in exercise on a daily basis. I have a tendency to jump in and do too much and them none at all. I need to start slow and keep it a steady pace. I also need to find sitting exercise as I can’t put weight on my foot now. No excuses.
Housework
I use Motivated Moms daily charts for housework. But I don’t always follow every day. I’ve also been subscribed to Fly Lady and read a lot of Don Aslets books. All help but doing is what keeps up, not reading about it.
Child training
This has to be a priority before anything else. It is so easy to get busy and not want to stop in the middle of what I am doing to train a child and think it takes to much time. But it actually takes less time when they are young than to root out bad habits in them that are later much harder to break. I have to be willing to stop what I am doing and make this my first priority.
Meal Plan
I am very good at shopping and stocking my pantry with all the sales but less so at making menus. I need to get into an every week habit of doing this. I am also going to keep track of how much money I actually save using coupons. I need to keep a freezer inventory so I know what I have.
Laundry
Laundry is easy to keep up when I make sure it’s done by noon. I start one load as soon as I get up an another after the children leave for school. I have them all folded before the children get home from school and they put them away. Now if I could just keep up with the socks.
What tips are habits do you have to be living life on purpose instead of by chance?
by Christina Renee | Family, Thoughts
Send in the Clowns
Last week the school sent home notices about clowns making threats to come into the high schools and “kidnap students or harm teachers.” They excused students who wouldn’t be at school that day. The next 2 nights at supper, that’s all my children talked about. As adults, we have a hard time controlling fear, let alone our children. So, how do we do this? By remembering Whose in charge.
God has Numbered My Days
I’ve had a number of really close calls, calls when someone has said I shouldn’t still be alive. But God is the one who has numbered my days. He controls my life and in the midst of all the horrors we see on the news, the tragedies we hear about, it is easy to forget that. He alone can give peace in the middle of a storm, or in the center of fear.
Controlling our Fear
I’ve been afraid of being a passenger in a car after 9 car accidents that seemed impossible to overcome. I prayed, tried deep breathing, tried controlling it on my own.
Last year, we visited friends in New Mexico. My husband was not willing to be in the same car with me for that long a trip and I couldn’t fly because of respiratory issues. So we took the train. It was good, but while I was there I shared my fears about being in a car and we discussed it and prayed. My fear was unfounded and I knew it. But I didn’t believe it. And if we know and don’t believe it, we don’t own it. I have never had that same level of fear since and it’s been a year and a half.
So what do we do?
Face our fears. We have to know what we’re dealing with. Don’t feed them. I have a daughter that has nightmare after watching scary shows with her sister. We’ve banned that show. There is no need to encourage fear. Don’t let your young children watch horror shows, sometimes even the news. Be protective of their eyes and ears.
Acknowledge there is evil in the world and tragedies and use them as opportunities for prayer and discussion. We often have discussions with our older children after our younger one has gone to bed. We discuss a lot at dinner just being careful with wording.
And the clowns; our younger children went to school that day. We discussed the safety precautions that their schools had and what they should do if there was a “code blue.” Our high school daughter we kept home only because she walked daily. And we had a phone call from someone that he saw 2 clowns walking around. I found out later they were picked up by police and had just thought it would be fun to scare people. Nothing happened at any school that I have heard about. That’s the thing, most of the time we fear something,it never happens. Do you have trouble controlling fear? What things do you do to combat it?
by Christina Renee | Children, Parenting, Thoughts
Schedule It
With 10 children it was hard to spend time alone with each one but it can be done. (Okay, we didn’t have all 10 at home at once, but 8 was common.) So what’s a mom to do to make each one feel special? Right now it’s pretty easy, we only have 3 at home. I know, some of you are saying only! In 4 Tips for School Days I told you how all my children got up at the same time and yet left at different times. That’s when I spend time with my youngest daughter. We have a bout 40 minutes all to ourselves. My oldest daughter at home gets home an hour earlier than the others and we have some time then, most days.
You can’t make your teens talk to you but you can make yourself available so when they’re ready they know you’re there for them. It takes a lot of time of small talk for them to open their heart to you. My son’s time is doing homework together. He rarely needs help now at 10 but he does like the one on one and talks about a lot of things besides homework. Some days he’ll even cuddle.
Rotate
When we did have many more children, errands were a good time time for time alone. I know errands right, how wants to do those? But they had to be done and there’s always a time to sit in the food court (unless you’re at Aldi’s) and have a Coke and listen. I’ve rotated whose turn it was and so dod my husband so each had alone time with each of us.
Be Open
I get up early and sometimes someone will come in and talk. I could guard this as “my time” and shoo them away but sometimes they want to talk then. With teens and young adults it’s usually late at night. I really like to get up early and my husband gets up at 4 to go to work so we don’t usually stay up late but there are times we give up sleep to be available for late night chats.
Adult Children
Now with most of my children grown I get a lot of phone calls. Some late night texts. I try to listen without stepping on toes. We meet for lunch at times, sometimes all of us girls. My 5 oldest are all girls. What fun! I have told them I’d love for them to ask for advice any time but I’ll do my best not to give it if they don’t. Most times all they need is a sounding board. I do love it when they call and ask for help, advice, even just a recipe.
Be There
The most important thing is that your child know you’ll be there. We have an open door policy for the most part. There are times we really don’t want the entire neighborhood here but most times I’d rather have them here than somewhere I don’t know. A lot of teens have talked and said they don’t talk with their parents. I’ve gotten calls from them asking advice, I do give some but always try and turn them back to their own parents.
I know it takes time, I know you’re tired, I know sometimes you have other plans or would rather sleep. But this is important! If they can’t talk to you, they will talk to some else! I have failed at times, we all do. Just start over. Children want to know you want to spend time with them. Do you have ways to spend time alone with your child?
by Christina Renee | Thoughts
Hurricane Season
I was talking to my sister this morning and she was talking about checking updates on the latest hurricane information that was supposed to hit this weekend and she preparing for it. She was getting a cooler full of ice, closing shutters, stocking water and getting as much ready as she could control. I’ve done the same thing when we have snow storms, stocking up, getting ready, whatever I can do.
Unexpected Storms
While we can prepare for the storms that we know are coming, what about the unexpected. What do you do then? Some things are easy, also easy to forget. Making sure the gas tank is at least 1/2 full, and you have a spare, car essentials kit makes you driving prepared. Having a list of emergency numbers so you don’t waste time looking them up. A baby sitter check list, fire safety checklists and drills all work great, when you have them ready. Do you need to take time and plan any of these?
Uncontrollable Storms
Some things are totally out of our control, what then? A call, your dad has cancer. A wreck, car totaled, injuries, lengthy recuperation. You miscarried, again. You need to prepare, I’ve never had a patient live 5 years without a heart attack, stroke or death. Your house is on fire. What do you do then? Who do you lean on?
The Calm in the Storm
During the midst of all these things happening that I never planned for, anticipated, or even thought this would happen to me. I have a wonderful support system, my family is fantastic. Every time family, extended family and friends were there to support me. I’ve turned to them, talked and shared with them and they’ve been there. But mostly, Jesus. He could take all the feeling that I had inside, my pain, my confusion, the lashing out I didn’t want to do to my husband or children. He comforted me and was a calm place in the midst of the storm. While I don’t have any answers to the whys, I do have a safe place to turn. Who do you turn to in the storms in your life? I’d love to hear.
by Christina Renee | Thoughts
Oh, Give thanks unto the Lord, for He is good.
Psalm 107:1
I am thinking and planning to celebrate Thanksgiving but do I remember it on other days? The Lord is so good to me all of my days, not just on Thanksgiving day. I know I have so many things to be thankful for; a wonderful husband and children, a warm house, wonderful food to look forward to eat , great medical care, friends and family.
Blessings disguised as work
But what about the things we take for granted, things that might look like work, of instance. All the dishes after the meal, I hear groans from children sometimes helping to clean up or asking to use paper plates instead of china. Folding clothes and putting them away; we can complain about it or use the opportunity to both be thankful for clothes but also pray for whose ever clothes I’m folding.
Celebrate
Shouldn’t we be thankful for a day to celebrate and use the china, be thankful for dishes to wash. There had been plenty of food on the plates. Am I as thankful about folding clothes as I should be, after all they keep us warm and nicely (most of the time) covered. We had a fancy dinner a couple weeks ago. My daughter planned it and it was amazing. But when we were all done, I asked if she wanted to do it weekly. She said no, it was to much work but monthly would be good. Celebrate life in little ways.
Ordinary life
What about the ordinary things, a smile from a little one. Changing a diaper, wiping little faces, helping with homework, teenagers coming in to talk at many a late hour; am I tired of repeating this activity over and over or am I thankful for the opportunity? I need to change my focus instead of it as another thing to do as an opportunity that God has given me to be thankful for. Lord, please help me to be thankful in all things.
