First, I want to say my children do not always speak kindly to one another. It is a work in progress.
Don’t Let Them Be Unkind
I do not let them tease or put down each other. They have to say 3 things nice about that sibling when I hear them saying it. Yes, it is a lot of work that way. And like pulling teeth to get the compliments for the other brother or sister they have offended. Plus they can have really lame remarks like ” I like that you’re the youngest.” I am sure that I don’t get every time they are unkind but they are more careful since they don’t know when Mom is listening.
Guard Our Tongues
We have also talked about guarding their tongues. I used an illistration of doors you have to go through to make sure it’s appropriate. An obstacle course was used when we first demonstrated the obstacles we had to think through before we spoke.
Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it nessasary?
Children went under a door for is it true. Over a chair for is it kind. And jumped over a large stuffed animal for is it nessasary. We discussed saying unnessasry things being said, even if it was kind and true, was like jumping on the stuffed animal and hurting it. The same way saying unnessasary things hurt others feelings.
Repeat, Repeat, Repeat
These are the things we have to guard when we speak. Some many times I’ve reprimanded a child for saying something and the retort is “But it’s true!” But it also has to be nessasary and kind. Be prepared to go over and over this again. It’s also a good reminder for myself. This is something I have to be viligant about. I have to think before I speak so I do not wound my childs spirit. I have to listen and be ready to correct them with kindness, And I have to