by Christina Renee | Children, Parenting
Do any of you have children like mine? Ones who put their backpack on the floor instead of the hook for it? Ones who run up the stairs and slam the door on their way. Or plop on the couch, “forget” where their shoes and coats go and how to make their bed? This is where using reminders to train children comes in handy. It’s time for us to work on new habits and those need lots of practice.
Practice, Practice, Practice
When I know that I’ve given them direction on what they are supposed to be doing and they aren’t doing it this is where the reminders come in. I give them the reminder and then they practice them. My son had a hard time getting his backpack on the hook in his room, put there right where he wanted it. So I reminded him and then had him practice it 20 times. Taking his backpack off the floor, going to his room putting it on the hook and then taking it back to the living room floor and doing it all over again. 20 times. We’ve done this for a lot of different things. Practiced sitting on the couch, up and down until 20 is done properly. Going in and out the door and closing it correctly.
Make it easier to do it right
Why am I doing this 20 times? It’s not actually meant as a punishment, it’s a training exercise. By practicing good behavior it gets ingrained. They know what’s expected and how to do it correctly. Also, it needs to be more work than just picking up the backpack and putting it away. It needs to be much more work to do it over. Putting a book on the shelf where it goes is much easier than straightening an entire shelf. Putting silverware away correctly is much easier than emptying and reorganizing the entire drawer.
This is how I am using reminders to train my children. Repetition. Practice. What do you do?
by Christina Renee | Children, Parenting
They’re gone, I can’t find them anywhere.” my son cried. All his handmade Christmas decorations were gone. Every one of them from grade school, all the little ones with his handprints, his pictures and immature handwriting. And it was my fault. My perfectionism caused this and broke my son’s heart.
I wanted it Perfect
The day before we were decorating the tree in the living room All my silver, gold and bronze ornaments twinkling in the lights. Then my son put his handmade decorations up. Right in the front of the tree! I felt horrified. My beautiful tree! The red and green handmade decorations subtracted from all my sparkly loveliness. Son, why don’t we put them on the tree in your room? I had gotten small trees for the boys and girls room after Christmas sales just for that reasons. They could decorate them to their heart’s content and I could keep my beautiful color coordinated tree.” No, I made them just for your tree”, my son said. After coaxing and finally sternly telling him he could either put them on the back of the tree or on his tree he took them down. I did feel a little bad then but consoled myself with the knowledge that he would love them on his tree.
Missing
I spent the next morning while he was at school cleaning up, putting boxes away and throwing out the torn ones. He came home from school and after supper and homework, he asked me to help him decorate his tree. His ornaments weren’t there! I thought he had put them in his room. He hadn’t. He had put them in a box. The boxes had been stacked and went to the trash and so had his ornaments. I felt horrible. He felt horrible. My husband thought if I hadn’t been so fussy about the tree the ornaments wouldn’t be gone.
Gone Forever
The trash dumpster was empty. His ornaments have gone forever. His little kindergarten ones with his handprints, his little angel one with his picture. The ones made of popsicle sticks and all the rest. Gone. Just because I wanted a perfect tree. Why? I’m not perfect. This definitely proves it.
Forgiveness
My son forgave me for throwing out his ornaments. It was an accident but still my fault. We are planning on making some new ornaments to replace what we can. I have pictures of when he was little. But it won’t be the same childish handwriting. It won’t be the same, period. But he gave me forgiveness.
Grace
So why is it so hard to forgive me.? I have berated myself over and over for this. I cried tears and my son cried tears. If only…. How many times do we say this to ourselves? If only…I need to forgive myself. My son forgave me just as The Son has forgiven me. I am forgiven. I am forgiven. Do you have something you need to forgive yourself for? What has your perfectionism cost you? Be kind to yourself. Show love, not only to others but to yourself.
by Christina Renee | Children, Home, Meals, Saving Money
We all have busy weeknights. Work, school, activities, appointments, etc. There are ways to make busy weeknights easier, yo make it go smoother and with less stress. Here are some of those ways.
Routines
When my children get home from school they know a snack and then homework come first. Then they get to play, have dinner and after dinner chores. We have a routine. They know what comes next so they’re not always asking. You know what comes next so you don’t need to think about it. Plan once and follow through makes evening easier. It becomes a habit and builds good habits in your children too.
Dinner
Always know what you’re having dinner by breakfast time at the latest. This is one of the biggest ways to make busy weeknights easier. I really try to menu plan and pull it out the night before. I start everything I can by breakfast that morning. Put supper in the crockpot and when your husband or children get home the house smells wonderful. If it’s a quick meal put it all together in the fridge so you don’t spend time looking for ingredients. I loved this Youtube video from At Home with Nikki where she shared her fridge tour and had a container in her fridge she prepped each night for the next night. If you do forget keep list of very quick meals you can make in a hurry. Our standby is a breakfast meal with eggs and potatoes. I keep a short list on the inside of my cupboard.
Activities, Appointments, Etc
With children in school, most of us have days of running. Sports, after-school clubs or just dr. appointments, there seems like too many days in the car and instead of at home. You can still plan ahead. Most of these are recurring so you know these need to be crockpot or sandwich night. I always have a book with me. If I have to wait and it’s near any errands I need for the week, I do it then. I’ve also listened to reading or helped with homework in the car. Make your time do double duty when it can.
Prep Ahead for the Next Day
After dinner and chores, we get ready for the next day. Check all backpacks. Look at eh calender for the next day including what is happening at school. Lay out clothes, anything that needs to be brought gets set out. I put anything I have to bring in my purse so I don’t forget it, if it’s big it goes in the car early. The children put theirs in their backpacks. Go through showers, if we tried to get ours all at once someone would have cold water. Then we finally get time to relax.
by Christina Renee | Christmas, Family, Organization
I found this out quite by accident, I didn’t know how much getting ready for Christmas early would change my life. Pregnant with a baby due in November and I knew I wouldn’t want to take time from snuggling and my other children to finish up all the many things to do with Christmas. So my plan was to be done by November 1st. I think it took a little longer but by the time baby was there and then December rolled around and I had nothing extra to do! The presents were wrapped, the baking was done and in the freezer, even the turkey was ready. One of the best things I ever did was to get ready for Christmas early and enjoy December. Let me tell you how to make this happen in your life.
Gifts
Make a list of people in your life that you’re buying gifts for and what they like and their sizes. I carry this around with me. Now, every time I go shopping I look around, especially the clearance section. You can buy something that fits in with their likes and your budget that way. I don’t think you should buy something just to have something to give. I think it needs to fit that person. Wrap when you get home and put it up. Now I have a basket in my closet for gifts and then I write it down. Who I bought for and what I bought. That way I don’t forget. So, I also keep a few extra in there just in case I need a last minute gift or someone extra shows up. Even a few kid gifts, just in case.
Baking
Now is the time to start baking. In October and November, baking supplies are on sale. Start stocking up and start baking favorites. Wrap them well for the freezer and you’ll have less to do in December. Some doughs I just make and freeze so that the children can help cut out sugar cookies or gingerbread men. But then this is a fun planned project and not the last minute have to that you’re falling behind on. I make extra for gifts too.
Srock up on snack food
Now is the time crackers are on sale and cheese and summer sausage. Do you have special foods planned that you only make this time of year? I know we do. And I know I have run to the store at the last minute for something I forgot. Make a list of these special foods and buy early and on sale.
Make ahead for busy days
I try and do this all year long but it seems more important this time of year. We have programs and recitals and places to go. Having dinner ready to put in the oven or crockpot can feel like a lifesaver. It’s definitely a budget saver. So either plan for a cooking day to put some meals in the freezer or double when you cook. This is what I like to do. It doesn’t feel like a huge increase in the food bill to do a couple extra each week and it doesn’t take a lot more time either.
Holiday Meals
This is a biggie. I make as much of our holiday meal ahead of time as I can. Because I want to spend time with my family, not spend it in the kitchen. I make my turkey ahead of time. For one thing, it doesn’t take up as much room in the freezer. But it tastes good too. Make your turkey as you normally do. THen debone it, cover with broth and melted butter and freeze. When you reheat it, it’s moist and then you use the broth for gravy. You can make and freeze most of your sides. I freeze my green bean casserole and candy carrots. You already have your desserts made and froze. Now it’s easy.
Decorate
We used to have a tradition of putting the tree up the Friday after Thanksgiving. I’ve been trying to move it up more and more. I love Christmas decorations. The light, the sparkles, the smells. I would put it up as much of the other decorations in November as possible and be all done by Thanksgiving weekend. A lot of neutral decorations that can be put up in November before Thanksgiving.
Enjoy
Now it’s December and the calendar fills up quicker than you think is possible and you have all this done. You’re not stressed. If you have a last minute potluck you have something ready to take. If someone shows up with a gift you don’t need to feel bad, you have extras ready to give. You have time to give your children since you’re not in a big hurry. Plus, I know in my case I was kinder and didn’t yell since I didn’t always feel behind. You have time to spend with your husband or friends and can really enjoy it. I know the best thing I ever did was get ready for Christmas early and enjoy December. How about you? What things do you do early to enjoy December?
by Christina Renee | Children, Parenting
“Do I consider the material I am examining essential for my children’s pursuit of God and godliness, or is it merely peripheral? Is this idea or that thought indispensable for their walk in the Spirit, or is it only incidental? And most important, will it stir within them a thirst for God, a hunger for His Word, and a desire to represent Him well as salt in the earth.”
Changed into His Image by Jim Berg
Making Choices
I wrote this when I have been laid up for almost a month with pneumonia. The pneumonia is now gone from my lungs but it really messed up my asthma and I am on different meds to try and get it back under control. Through all this I haven’t had a voice above a whisper so I have to choose very carefully the things I need to say since I can’t say it all. I also have paper and pen but I still don’t write as fast as I could talk. It is very limiting. But also, I am limited to the necessary. My children have been wonderful about pitching in together and meals, housework. They have brought me tea, water, books and movies. But I have looked at the superfluous that I have been doing. When it is hard to breathe, many,, many things are unnecessary. So I am looking for what changes I need to be making. Where do I need to cut and what? What are the best choices I can make for my life? Am I evaluating what my children are seeing?
Good, Better, Best
When you go into a store they have listings for items; good, better and best. We have those same choices. But so many times we fall into a pattern or a rut and just do what we have always done. So God has given me this time to evaluate the good, better or best in my life and I am planning some changes. I want things in my life, my husbands, life and my children’s lives that will stir up a thirst for God, that will cause them to pursue Him and represent Him all of our lives and I am willing to do whatever I can to change that. Examine your life, don’t wait for God to take you in hand so you are dependent on Him for your next breath. We are anyway but you don’t have to sound like Darth Vader doing so. Ask Him where you need to change.
by Christina Renee | Family, Thoughts
It’s easy to compare yourself to other people and not to our own accomplishments. As moms we can be very bad at this. We compare our children to another person’s children. We compare our accomplishments to another mom’s not knowing what’s gone on before in her life. Measuring our success by what we do, what we have, how we act or how our children behave instead of who we are. We need to stop comparing ourselves.
Identities
There is the controversy of working mothers versus staying home mother’s versus work at home mothers and we could go on and on. All mothers are different. We all parent differently, and different things are important to each one of us. To some moms sports are extremely important in school. To others music are more important. Some moms don’t want any extracurricular activities and some mom schedule them every night. Then there is the controversy of public schools vs. private schools versus homeschooling. There are all kinds of moms and we all want the best for our children.
Children’s Behavior
We can choose what is important to us without thinking that something else is wrong. We compare ourselves to our friends and other moms that we see out and about and think well I’m doing this, this is better. Or we look at the other woman and think that she has it all together and why am I messing up so bad. We go to the McDonald’s and sit in the play place watching her children play on the slides and smile because our children of minding right then. It is a mistake to think that our children’s behavior are an extension of ourselves. I know I’ve done it. When my children have behaved well in public I give myself a pat on the back and when they have been horrid; I think it is because I have done something wrong.
Priorities
There is a myriad of things that we could choose to be a priority for our lives. But we need to decide what is important to us for the priorities that we have chosen for our lives and for our children. The choices we make show the priorities for our lives. It is easy to just go with the flow and what we see others doing but we need to make a conscious effort to choose what is important to us. I am trying to make health and fitness more of a priority in our family. So I am choosing to pre make snacks that are fruits and veggies, we are going to the park more often, and trying to get more exercise. All of these do take extra time but since this is important to me right now, I am willing to do this.
Stop comparing
Stop comparing yourself to others. Instead, keeping your priorities in mind, keep track of your progress. Compare this month to last month on where you are with your priorities. Did you meet them? Did you succeed them? How do you struggle in comparing yourself?
