It is so easy to go through the days with the hugs and kisses from the little ones in the house. And I can be so overwhelmed with kisses that I can neglect it with the older ones unless I am thinking about it. My 3 that are 10 and under come up to me every day with hugs, kisses and cuddles.
Right now my 7 and 4 year olds are there a lot since they are a little insecure about Mom being sick and have been in the hospital and away from them. Serene would sit most of her time right next to me, on top of me even if she could, just to be as close as possible.
So I have been making a point of giving my older children extra attention too. My 2 older sons 12 and 14 next week aren’t as demonstrative unless I initiate it. I pat them on the back or shoulder, give them hugs, ask for a kiss and give them one when they or I am leaving, ruffle their hair. I can see them responding even thought they were still at first.
How did I get out of the habit? By not making it a priority, I was getting all the hugs from the younger group and didn’t notice. I have to tell you though it isn’t as easy as it sounds.
I have checklists to get thought the day, right now I am very forgetful. So I have my children on a checklist for me too. Did I say something positive to encourage this child today? Did I hug him or her? Which one needs some special mom time? I have to write it down or I forget. Some would thing it is because I have 10 children but I wasn’t always this forgetful. My husband thinks it’s all the meds I’m on. And yes, I have him on the list too. With older daughters it is easier, they accept hugs easier although one daughter I always have to point to my cheek at night after I hug and kiss her for a kiss back. She just grins and kisses me. I know she loves me , she is my daughter who is always bringing me hot tea too. So try and make the effort if you’ve gotten out of the habit.
Older children need this too but just don’t want to show it. I have so many things pulling at my time and energy this can easily fall by the wayside if I don’t plan for it. So make good use of your time even if you have to use a chart to do it.