Here are 10 more on the list of 30 things I’ve learned in 30 years of marriage. I hope this is a blessing to you and please feel free to ask questions.
11. Be affectionate with each other.
Even, especially in front of your children. I know my children have told me later when they were older, how comforting it was to see that Mom and Dad loved each other. Although you may here “gross and yuck”, they are comforted with so many of their friends from broken homes. Kiss, hug, hold hands, little touches that show affection, not just to your spouse but to others around you.
12.Laugh, a lot. The first things that attracted me to my husband was that he was kind and made he made me laugh. Learn how to see the humor in things. If not now, we’ll laugh when we remember them. And we do. Private jokes that are funny probably only to us.
13. Keep talking. It’s so easy, even on date night, to have conversations revolve around the kids, the house, to-do list or money. And it gets harder to keep talking on a deeper level. It’s hard to find the time, the dreams you used to share, and life is so very busy. We have conversation questions at dinner we sometimes pull out of a jar and there are times I do the same for us. Couples conversation starters have been great. Usually one question will spark a different thought and great conversation.
14. Men and women think differently. My husband would say very differently. What I think would bless my husband doesn’t and visa versa. For instance, I was leaving to go away for the evening with a friend and my husband asked if there was anything to do to help. I asked if he had time to work on the kitchen. When I came home the stove and fridge were pulled out and he has cleaned behind the stove and was behind the fridge cleaning the floor. He thought it was great since that was something I didn’t do regularly. All I saw was the same mess of dirty dishes and counters and appliances in the middle of the room. He felt unappreciated for the work he had done. I’ve done the same to him. I’ve had to look at the reasons behind what was done and appreciate that and not always the results.
15. Be thankful. Be thankful for what each one of you does for the other. It’s easy to forget or take for granted all the nice things that are done. You should treat your spouse better than you would a stranger.
16. Be their cheerleader. Let them know you’re always in their corner. Encourage them. Help them follow their dreams.
17. Respect him. Model it for your children. Look at him while he’s speaking. Don’t interrupt. Don’t be thinking about what you’re going to say next while he’s talking. Ask him for advice, look up to him.
18. Always say I love you. You never know when it’s the last time you’ll say it. Have no regrets. We say I love you every timer we leave, when we talk on the phone and before bed. Our children do too. Always say I love you.
19. Take time for each other. Make your relationship a priority. We have date nights and go away a couple nights a year. Reconnect as a couple , not just Mom and Dad. Have long uninterrupted conversations and enjoy time with each other. Investing time helps your relationship grow.
20. Enjoy intimacy with each other. Make time and energy for these “special times”. Be as adventurous as both of you want. Try new things to keep the spark alive.
After 30 years I still don’t know all about marriage. But I hope to have gained some knowledge to have shared with you. Any questions you have I’d gladly answer.